oy
2005-08-19, 12:28 p.m.

Just thought I�d share how my mind works. These are the thoughts that went through my head as I woke up this morning.

(FYI - my alarm clock is on the window ledge, which my bed is crammed right up against.)

�Wow, my alarm clock is really hot. I wonder if it could catch the bed on fire. What if there�s a fire while we�re gone? I wonder if the animals would die. I need one of those stickers for the window that tells the fire dept there are animals inside. Holy crap! The inner sanctum! I bet the fire dept has those stickers! Yeah, cause you need a few more men in your life. Loser. Is it Friday? Have I missed People�s Court?�

So, those were my waking thoughts. I decided to go ahead and post something today, as all my whining from last night was annoying even me. So I�m going from whining to outright bitching. I�m totally and thoroughly pissed at my ex to be. Let me share some tidbits of joyful information Amanda has shared with me that came from her father.

First, two weeks ago I came home at about midnight. My sister & I had gone to a ballgame and then out to eat. I forgot to take my cell phone w/ me. I noticed that Amanda had tried to call. There�s also a message on my home answering machine from her (she was with her dad.) She�s flippin� bawling into the phone, and not coherent at all. I call the A.E. (Assmunch Ex) and ask him what�s wrong. I woke him up, ha ha ha. �Nothing. She�s just being a butthead.� Yes, the 38 year old man called the 10 year old a butthead, cuz he�s all mature like that. He proceeds to tell me that she threw a fit about going to sleep and he didn�t think he�d be keeping her overnight anymore. HA! I have news for him - that�s not going to happen. Much as I love my girl, I need a little break from her - especially during these long summer days when we�re together constantly. But it�s after midnight, I woke him up and he�s stupid, so I figure we�ll get into it later.

The next day he�s still in a funk so I hold off on bitch-slapping him. I mean, discussing things with him. After he leaves I ask Amanda what was going on. �We were fighting.� Oh, he�s so mature. �What were you fighting about.� I ask. �Well, it started when I was watching (some Disney show). This girl had a crush on this guy and daddy said I couldn�t watch it anymore.� �He wouldn�t let you watch it because a girl had a crush? Did she say something you shouldn�t hear?� �No, she had a crush on a boy that�s black, and she�s white.� Ahhhhhh. Friggin� idiot. �I told daddy you would let me watch it.� Oh crap. I know THAT went over real well. Now I understood the argument. He absolutely can�t handle it when she says I do something he doesn�t. Never mind that when she�s here I get �Daddy this, and daddy that� constantly. It�s what kids do. �Well, Amanda....� Be diplomatic, be diplomatic. �Mommy & Daddy were raised differently. I was raised not to see color. Daddy wasn�t. It makes a difference how you�re raised.� �But mom - daddy said (brace yourself people) it�s wrong and God doesn�t like it.� W........T..........F? Oh no, he did not. I actually for a minute thought something popped inside my head. �What do you think, Manda?� �I think God doesn�t see color either.� Good girl. �You�re right, He doesn�t. God tells us to love everyone. He doesn�t say, but only if they�re the same color. God definitely doesn�t see color.� And then my child, bless her little wonderful self, says, �Daddy�s pretty weird sometimes, mom.� Good girl.

But that�s not it, folks. Later that day she tells me her dad told her not to call me when she was crying because I was out with someone and I wouldn�t answer the phone. That time something really did pop in my head. �Yeah, Amanda, I WAS out with someone. Your aunt. And I don�t care who I�m out with, you call me and I�ll answer. As long as I don�t forget my cell phone again.� Needless to say, when I finally did talk to A.E., it wasn�t pretty.

He evidently either kept his fool mouth closed after that, or Amanda just wasn�t reporting anything to me. Could be he bitched her out for sharing with me. Until Weds night. He sat with her while I worked a concert (50 Cent, yo). So Thursday she tells me, �Daddy says he pays the rent on our house.� Oh no, not another pop. I think my brain might just explode if this keeps up. Usually, I�m so very good about keeping my cool. But it just kind of slipped out on accident. I said, �Uh, that would mean he actually gave me money, and I sure haven�t seen any of THAT this month.� Ooops, mouth shut, Steph. Most likely she didn�t even get that. Right? �Yeah, I know. He�s always forgetting his check book.� Ooops, guess she did get it. I�m sure my 'no money this month' comment will get back to him. I�m ok with that. Assmunch.

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