Sparks
2005-08-25, 12:09 a.m.

I painted on Tuesday! Ok, that's not exciting at all. I thought maybe adding the exclamation point would make it exciting. I get paid for the painting! Now THAT'S exciting.

After I finished painting, I went to my sister's cottage on the beach in Nags Head. Well, technically she's in Kitty Hawk. Not that it matters where she is, really, because the cottage is right on the freakin' beach. Right on it. I mean, you walk out on the deck, walk down the stairs, and you're at the beach. Your own little private beach. Well, private in that everyone around you can see you, but they can't enter your little area unless you invite them.

Speaking of inviting, my sister's sis-in-law was there with some little skanky friend of hers. My sister's sil is absolutely adorable, but she has a terrible drinking problem. They went out to a bar and came back to the cottage with two guys. And beer. And a four-pack of something called Sparks. Which was for me, evidently. Sparks tastes like liquid sweettarts. But...... I drank three anyways. I am not much of a drinker these days, I probably should have stopped at, oh - one. Halfway through one of them, I decided to read the can. It's a malt liquor, so already I know my head's going to hurt in the morning. But that's not all. In addition to the alcohol, you get a variety of other ingredients, such as caffeine, ginseng, guarana and taurine. I don't know what most of that stuff is, but you shouldn't drink Sparks on a Tuesday night if you plan on going to bed before the weekend rolls around. Yikes!

By the time I finished the third one, I was totally wired. I could NOT stop talking. Anyone see George of the Jungle? The scene where George eats the can of coffee and then says, "Java, java, java, java, java, etc." rapidly? That was me. Seriously. I actually said the whole "java, java, java" thing last night. I told skank friend she was a skank, and skank friend's pick-up of the night that he was gross. This was after they came back from a "walk" on the beach (like we didn't all know what they were doing). I normally don't care what other people are doing, but he was wearing MY HAT! That's sick. Don't have sex with someone you just met and wear my hat. Yuck. So I took my hat back and he put his back on. Oh, now it all makes sense. He was wearing a Red Sux ball cap. It looked no older than a year old, so I figured he was yet another bandwagon jumper-onner. So, since it was just a topic of diary conversation for me, I asked him about Bill Buckner and game 6 of the '86 World Series. Big surprise. He had no idea what I was talking about. Sorry, Ohio, but we told him he needed to go home. Have sex w/ MY hat on. Gross.

I didn't go to sleep until 3:00am. I haven't done that in forever. My body really wanted to go to sleep, but my brain didn't. My brain felt frickin' awesome. My brain was working better than it's worked in ages. I got it to shut down just after 3, but it woke up again at 6. Ugh, no, this is not going to happen. I went back to sleep until 8 and then got up. I still felt wired. Actually, it's 12:45 now, and I'm STILL wide awake, lol. I think maybe that'll be my one and only experience with Sparks.

Update: (I know you all love my updates :D) I was just seeing if I could find anything about Sparks on the internet, since I've never heard of it. It's actually been around for several years. I found this little tidbit of information - "But when partaking of its orangey goodness (time out, did she say orangey goodness? Is she on crack? I must of missed that, what will all the liquid sweettart taste.), be wary of what some have dubbed the "After-Sparks," when the head begins to pound and the crazy, whirlwind ride comes to a screeching halt. With twice the alcohol content of most beers and more pick-me-up than several cups of coffee, Sparks packs quite a wallop." No shit, sherlock - where were you last night when I needed that particular bit of info?

last - next