Maybe it's all about the hoses....
2005-08-11, 11:28 a.m.

I have had a long-standing infatuation with firemen. Well, it�s more of a lust-based thing. I just find them completely and totally hot (no pun intended :D). I guess I like the whole uniform thing - police, sheriff, military..... What can I say? But firemen especially. It's so bad that when I go to the grocery store & the fire trucks are outside Amanda rolls her eyes and says, "Oh great - firemen." Even the kids at school know about it. Shortly before school was out, members of the fire dept. were roaming the halls doing whatever it was they were doing. One of the kids sitting at the computer at the door stopped two as they went by. "Hey - are you guys security?" The answer from the hall, "No, fire dept." Back in the room, "Hey - Ms. U - fire dept!! Out in the hall!" Yikes. That wasn't embarrassing at all.

Now, to make things worse I have this little hottie neighbor. He's absolutely adorable. The only thing that stops me from having wild fantasies about the guy is that he's at least 12 - 13 years younger than I am, and several inches shorter. (I LOVE tall men.) He flirts with me, probably giving the old lady a thrill, you know? I get completely and totally flustered. I can hang w/ guys my age, no problem, but get this little young hottie asking me if I can come out and play and I'm a big, blabbering idiot. Anyways, he worked for the shipyard or the Ford plant or something. Then.... about a month after we moved in I ran into him outside. He tells me he just got accepted to the fire academy. So yeah, great. He's graduated now. I thought he was hot before, lol. I'm scared to death my daughter's going to blab to him about my little obsession. Luckily we don't see him as much anymore.

But I digress. So last weekend there was a big competition over at city park w/ fire, police & sheriff personnel from four area cities. They competed in tug-of-wars, hostage rescues, cpr skills competitions and stuff like that to raise money for the red cross. What? How perfect is that? No way am I missing this. This is like a chocoholic being given the keys to Godiva, right?

So off I go with my sisters, my nephews, my niece & my mom. I�m thinking I �m BOUND to meet a hottie fireman, right? Nope. I was in complete and total sensory overload. I couldn�t even communicate. I think I was able to withhold the drooling, but I can't even swear to that. Gorgeous men everywhere. It was just too much. I should have stuck w/ my initial plan, which was to wear jeans and a parka in the 90 + degree weather so I�d pass out in front of one of them. Or five of them. Or 25, whatever.

So we stay for a little while and then leave, totally empty-handed as far as hottie civil servants go. I took the best opportunity EVER to meet my future fireman husband and totally blew it. Now I guess I�ll have to resort to plan B and set my house on fire. But that could backfire, because I live next door (duplex even) to a fireman. He�d probably just put the fire out.

I DID come out of my sensory overload at the very last minute, as we were leaving. The very last group of firemen we passed before getting to the parking lot (and they were from MY city, too) looked up as we walked by. Of course I was already looking at them, but I couldn�t even focus on the firemen because one of them was sitting on a cpr dummy. He was sitting on the cpr dummy�s FACE. It was so flippin� funny to me that it totally overrode hottie fireman alertness. So I have the attention of probably 6 or 7 firemen and what comes out of mouth? �Is that a new way to administer cpr? Because I WAS going to volunteer, but now I�m not so sure.� Of course we were all laughing so hard it probably sounded like gibberish to the guys (judging by the look of utter confusion on their faces.) So now I guess I�m back to looking for their trucks outside of the grocery stores. Unless I can find a way into one of the stations. I�m still looking for the perfect excuse to enter their inner sanctum. Anyone?

last - next