ED moments
2004-04-26, 6:17 p.m.

I've mentioned somewhere that I work w/ ED (emotionally disturbed) high school kids. Well, today I had my own ED moment. What's an ED moment? Well, I'm sure you've had one. You know when you get totally pissed at someone or something and you just lose it? Maybe say or do something you normally wouldn't say or do? Yeah, I thought so. That's an ED moment. So I'm on my way to work and as I'm turning right off my side street onto the main drag through the neighborhood, this jogger appears out of nowhere. Oh, ok, fine. So it just so happens I didn't look right. I was TURNING right, so I just looked left to make sure there were no cars. It was pretty much unnecessary to look right because even if a car WAS coming, it wouldn't effect my right hand turn. Plus, I would have had time to stop if, say, the idiot was on the wrong side of the road or something. And just also let me say I wasn't going very fast either. It's not like I was trying to break the sound barrier, I live in a cul-de-sac and I can SEE the main drag from the court. So in my VW Beetle, the chances of me even getting up to 25 by the time I get to the scene of the crime are pretty nil. OK? Ok.

So this jogger was on the sidewalk and as I slooooowly turned onto the main drag, he jogs out in front of me. So you see, he should have stopped, right? I mean who the heck just runs off a curb anyways?. But hey, being the nice person I am, I stop the car and give "I'm sorry" hands as I mouth, very exaggeratedly too, so he can see, "I'M SORRY." See how generous I am? I took the blame. What a woman. Except this jogger, this MAN jogger stops in the middle of the road (oh, so NOW he stops) and cusses me out. (Ok, so I can't swear he was cussing me out, but I'm pretty sure he was.) WHAT? He's fussing at ME? I'm not the idiot that ran off the curb without looking. I'm the idiot who, I mean I'm the one who just didn't look to the right. And while we're at it, there's not even a stop sign there, so am I even really partially to blame? Hmmm, maybe not. So as this guy stands in the middle of the road flapping his idiot man lips, I turn around and YELL, "I SAID I'M SORRY, YOU FUCKHEAD!!" And then I drove off. That is a total ED moment. It took me about 45 seconds to start feeling bad. I mean, if I nearly got hit by a car, because of my own idiocy, of course, I would probably be so shaken I would maybe fuss the innocent person out. I mean, I yelled something I normally wouldn't yell, so I can understand his fear. But then I'd get pissed again because, damn it, I SAID I was sorry. I DID the "I'm sorry" hands. He should have forgiven me, dang it!

So I get to school and tell the woman I work with what happened and let me tell you, she laughed! Not only that, she totally outted me in class. She told the kids that I had something I needed to share with them. She said it would be GOOD for them to see that I have ED moments, too. Now I need to give you some quick background. The kids think I'm just this saint, heh heh heh. While many of the ED teachers have used profanity in class, mainly to neutralize the kids profanity (and sometimes because you're just that pissed off), I never do. It's a running challenge the kids have, to tick me off to the point I cuss. Last year, with two weeks to go, I called them jackasses (but that's another story, they totally deserved it) and one of them ran around the room and high-fived everyone. I told him it wasn't really a cuss word and he said, "Close enough." So, yes, I had to confess to not only saying a bad word, but of dropping the 'F' bomb! Except I didn't actually say it to them. I told them the story and then ended it with, "And then I said something really bad. You'll never even guess what I said and it doesn't really matter because I'm sorry I said it." Kid # 1 "Asshole?" "No" Kid # 2 "Dickhead?" "Close." Kid #3 "Fuckhead?" :O "It's ok, Ms. U. Everyone loses it every once in awhile." So, the next time you lose it, remember, it's ok to have an ED moment every once in awhile.

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