Just the facts, ma'am...
2004-09-22, 8:25 p.m.

Sooooo, there's nothing really to say for today, so I've decided just to list 10 things about me.

1. I often think I should have been born a man, but I�m really glad I wasn�t seeing as how I find men so incredibly hot. For instance:

a. I love sports, the Three Stooges, action flicks and bathroom humor.

B. I hate cuddling and have absolutely no need for foreplay (skip the appetizer, give me the main meal, dangit!)

C. I never make the bed, put the twisty tie back on the bread, or put the new roll on the toilet paper holder.

2. I was in the room when my nephew was born, and got to cut his cord. Way cool! (So now there�s another child I can threaten with �I (helped) bring you into this world, I can take you out!�)

3. I absolutely love reality shows. Not all of them - I don�t watch the dating ones because I hate seeing some person shove their tongue down 12 other people�s throat. (I DID watch some of Outback Jack, though, because he�s such an amazing hottie.) I do like Survivor, Fear Factor, The Apprentice and more that I just can't think of right now. (I'll come up with 10 within 5 minutes of logging off, I'm sure.)

4. I met up with two women (Blue & Treesssa) in Tennessee after chatting w/ them online & by phone for a couple of years. It was absolutely one of the best times of my life. They�re two of the craziest, funniest & absolutely nicest people I�ve ever met. Plus, they�re just plain FUN! I really, really want to do it again. (Love ya guys!!)

5. Even at 36, I still have a hard time not giggling when people fart.

6. I have a panda tattoo on my back. I got it about 5-6 years ago, when my daughter was about 4. (We call her Manda Panda.) My sister wanted a tattoo. I went for moral support only. Until I saw the panda. I contemplated it for about 3 hours, then I did it. Had second thoughts after I got home. My daughter took one look and said, "Now we'll always be together." I haven't doubted it since.

7. I'm on husband #2. If something happens w/ this one, I'm done. My daughter & I will live a happy life, like the Gilmore Girls. Except without the rich family, cool job, trendy clothes and quirky friends. Plus maybe I'll find a much younger man and use him for sex.

8. I have two dogs, Mazzy and Diesel, a hamster named Funky Butt, and two fish, Venomous & Blood. (I'm not responsible for naming all of them, so get off me.) Mazzy's a mutt, and very ugly - bless her heart. Diesel is a toy rat terrier, and either insane or very, very stupid. I haven't decided which one.

9. I've written a children's book based on a lie my daughter told her kindergarten class. I've done absolutely nothing with it, though, either out extreme laziness or extreme, errr, chickenness. You pick.

10. Both my mom and my dad used to drag race. They raced at Creed's Race Track in a little place called Pungo. My dad called himself the Prince of Pungo, so when my mom started racing she was, naturally, dubbed the Princess of Pungo. They only had to face each other once. Now I know where I get my skills.

10. I am professionally happier than I've ever been, even though I'm making, by far, the least amount of money I've ever made.

Ok, ok, I know that was 11. But who's counting?

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