BREAKING NEWS!!!! (and a public service announcement)
2004-10-01, 8:43 p.m.

Ok, first of all I have to say (and excuse my shouting, please) MY DAD'S CANCER IS GONE!!! I'm so incredibly elated, and that's not even a strong enough word for it. It's totally, completely, 100% not there anymore. He just completed 6 months (1 week a month) of experimental treatment. They scanned him Tuesday, he got the news yesterday. Unbelievable. The doctors are amazed, probably because they gave him a year at most about 19 months ago. They obviously are unaware of how stubborn my family is. Our how secure my dad is in his faith. There was a whole lot o' prayin goin on. So life is awesome. Except......poor Mazzy.

So, I'm watching my cousin this weekend, and when my aunt & uncle dropped her off I was telling them about Maz. He said, "I got just the man for you (his vet). He'll examine her and he'll level w/ you as to whether or not this surgery is worth it." He then gets on the phone (his vet's on speed dial?!?!), says a few things, then tells me to be at this guy's office at 8am tomorrow. Can you believe it?? How cool is that? So, I guess the saga will end tomorrow, one way or another. Please send good poochie juju my way!

And now for a public service announcement:

Hearing Kelly Clakson on the radio today reminded me that there is most likely another American Idol coming up.

If you are considering auditioning for this show, please, PLEASE take the time to find out if you can, indeed, sing. Yes, you should already know this, but just in case, sing for a friend you know will tell you the truth. If you don�t have any, sing for a stranger. Heck, call me. I�ll let you know.

Regardless, please have at least five totally honest people assure you that you can sing before going on the show. Yes, being a talentless hack worked for William Hong (Haung, Huong, whatever the hell), but it will NOT work for you. Seriously. So don�t even try, ok?

Friends and loved ones, I hold you even more accountable than the auditionees. If you know someone going out for American Idol and they can�t sing, for Pete�s sake, tell them!! Don�t let them go on national television and make an ass of themselves! What are you thinking? That you don�t want to hurt their feelings? That you don�t want to piss them off? Dude, how do you think they�re going to feel when someone tells them the truth in front of five million witnesses? They�re not going to thank you, trust me. �Oh, thank you Bob for telling me I could sing. It would have been so embarrassing if you had actually told me the truth here, in the privacy of my own home. Luckily, Simon told me, in front of millions of viewers, that he�s heard better tunes coming out the tail end of a flatulent walrus. Thanks, Bob. Thanks a lot.�

Yes, I do watch American Idol. Oddly enough, after my warning, my favorite part is watching the people get dissed. I do feel sorry for some of them, seriously, I do. But, dang, how can you not know you can�t sing? How can people that supposedly like/love you let you go on tv and sing? I don�t get it, seriously. I love to sing. I sing in the shower. I sing in the car. I sing to cd�s. I sing to the radio. When no one�s around, I sometimes use my daughter�s kareoke machine. I hum. I make up lyrics. I sing my butt off. But I suck. I know this. The people I know know this. My daughter knew it when she was four, and my car didn't have a radio. She said, �Don�t sing, mommy, it don�t sound right.� �It DOESN�T sound right, Amanda.� �It sure don�t.�

Well, this ends the public service announcement. Please read and heed.

And did I mention my dad's tumor is gone????

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