The Old Man and the Keys
2004-10-04, 10:55 p.m.

Here's my dad, cancer ass-kicker extraordinaire.

My dad went to Key West a few years ago to enter the Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest at Sloppy Joe's. He didn't win, but the crowd absolutely adored him. He's an adorable type of guy. Camera crews adored him, too. He was interviewed by several stations, mostly locals or cable access. CNN was covering the contest, so he thought he might get his 1.5 seconds of fame.

Several of the Hemingways told him you never win your first time. Evidently, they like for you to come back again, preferably with a huge alcohol-drinking, food-eating, souvenir-buying entourage. I hear the guy that won didn't really look all that much like old Ernie, but hey, it was like his fifth year entering.

So the important thing is my dad loved it. My hubs went with him. They both say it was one of the best times of their lives. My dad developed quite a following. He had people giving him business cards, wanting to sponsor him for future contests. But like I said, he's just that type of guy. People like to be around him. I can't really explain it. It's more than the charm, which he has in spades, and more than the intelligence and humor. I think he's just a genuinely GOOD person. It's inherent in him. People are drawn to that. I reckon I did't get too much of that as the only things drawn to me are emotionally disturbed teenagers and ugly dogs. But then I guess that's not so bad. It could be ugly teenagers and emotionally disturbed dogs, now wouldn't THAT be something?

So anyways, he hasn't made it back to Key West, even though he wants to go. He was diagnosed not terribly long after that trip. My husband had a go around with guilt because of it. He said he'd noticed the spot on my dad's back, and told him he needed to get it checked. He said he wished he'd hounded him a little more.

Public Service Announcement: If you notice a weird spot on a loved one's back, knock their ass out, throw them in a car and take them to a dermatologist. That is all.

My mom noticed a spot on my uncle's back when they were on vacation. My mother is an excellent hounder. She made my uncle call his doctor while still on said vacation. Turns out it was melanoma. (This was before my dad was diagnosed.) He was pretty far along, too. Like my dad, experimental surgery saved his butt.

For the record, my dad, uncle, aunt and cousin have all had melanoma. My aunt and cousin didn't survive it. My niece had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She's been in remission for two years. I'm starting to feel like we're cancer magnets. Yikes.

So, to put an end to this mindless ramble, I was sitting in the Atlanta airport waiting for my husband's flight back from Key West. There was a torrential downpour at the time, so I sat like a zombie in the airport, anxious for the plane to get in, wanting to know about the trip, glad they had a great time but sorry my dad din't win. Somewhere in the midst of my mind trip, it slowly starts to sink in that my dad's face is plastered all over every TV in the airport. (Atlanta...CNN....) So I focus, and sure enough they're covering the look alike contest. The voiceover is going on and on about the contest, and this year's winner, blah blah blah, but the entire time they're showing my dad. Rock On! Of course, my husband's plane being rain-delayed and all, I got to see it again. And again. And again.

So, there's a little tale about my pops. I'm glad he's sticking around a little longer.

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