Catching up.
2004-11-03, 9:48 p.m.

First I have to say that I've been placed on political conversation probation by one of the kids at school. So, out of respect to him, I cannot comment. ;) I'm not ignoring anyone. Seriously.

So, I'll just catch ya up on what I've been doing. The students were back today after having the day off yesterday. They were disturbingly quiet. Yesterday was an in-service day for us. We had a mandatory child abuse video to watch. It was horrendous. It showed photos from actual cases. I really don�t know how child protective services and police officers deal with child abusers. I wanted to hurt someone bad, and I was just looking at anonymous photos. I can�t imagine being in the household, looking at that poor broken child and having to deal with the person who caused the hurt and pain. It�s absolutely reprehensible. And the images just don�t go away. Amanda said to me last night. �Mom? I love you, but why are you staring at me?� Me, �I just love you Amanda.� �Well, can you at least stop hugging me?� I told her I couldn�t help it - I had been reminded that parenthood is a blessing and I needed to tell her every chance I got how wanted and loved she is. She said, �Ok, but can you do it without hugging me so much?� So I agreed not to hug her so much, but she had to let me stare at her as much as I wanted. It worked for both of us.

My day started off a little unusually today. On my way to work, I let a car turn in front of me. I signaled to him by sticking my hand out the window. My window wasn�t completely down, I just had it cracked a little. So I wave my hand, letting him know he could go ahead and turn in front of me. I then pull my hand back into the car. Except it got stuck. Don�t ask me how, I don�t know. It was a combination of the angle of my hand and my watch, I suppose. I really don�t know. So I manage to turn with one hand hanging out the window. I�m flapping my hand around trying to get it back in. The guy in front of me is staring in his rearview mirror at me. He hesitantly holds his hand up and shakes it a little, like to thank me for letting him go. But he�s looking at me quizzically, like maybe my strange hand signals are trying to warn him of impending doom. Or perhaps he thinks it�s some new rude gesture. Who knows? And why am I paying attention to him when I need to concentrate on getting my hand back in anyways? I finally just use my knees to hold the wheel and then reach over with my right hand and lower the window. Geez.

My car still isn't inspected, big surprise. I live about two minutes away from the police station. They're up and down this road all the time. I pick my girl up every day from the rec center, which is right beside the sheriff's office and in front of - wanna guess? - the police station. I live in fear of getting pulled. On the bright side, maybe I'll meet a hot cop. Cops and firemen are sexy, I think. Which reminds me, I'll have to write about Scott one day. But that's another story.

So, just talking about hot guys while I'm married makes me think of how I spent a lot of time today reflecting on how peaceful it is in my house right now. It's had me second-guessing myself. I mean, I know my life isn't horrible. I'm not getting beaten or anything like that. And, like I said, it's been so calm lately it's hard to remember why I've been feeling like I have. So know what? I was upstairs putting Amanda to bed and he comes upstairs totally freakin out because he can't find his damned memory card for the playstation. I mean, he was losing it. Hollering, "Which one of you MOVED it?? You don't touch my stuff." Like I'm a child. I was pissed but I stayed really calm. Didn't even say anything. Helped him find the stupid thing and came back up to make sure Amanda knew she didn't do anything to cause the little inappropriate outburst. She rolls her eyes and says, "He's drunk." Very matter-of-factly. Smart girl. It's good to have my mind back on straight and my priorities back in order. I rented White Chicks last night, not really expecting too much. I laughed my freakin' head off. It was much funnier than I thought it would be. I mean, don't look for it at Oscar time, but it was a fun, no thought required time killer.

Okey doke, I'm off to bed early tonight. I was going to stay up and watch CSI: New York, but my throat hurts and I feel crappy. I swear, if that GWAR kid (who was totally fine today, I might add) made me sick, I WILL seek revenge. Someday. Somehow. When he leasts expects it. Heh. Heh. Heh.

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